Post Partum

This will be another wordy post but it is the last in my labour series so if you don't fancy a read check back on Monday for my next post.

I will start with the recovery in hospital.

After the birth I was taken to a ward, as I had had an epidural I was not able to move my legs at all so was stuck in bed. This was a temporary stay as they did a blood test to decide if I needed a blood transfusion or if I could just have iron. Luckily my iron levels are normally high so I was put on iron tablets and didn't need a transfusion, that would have made my recovery longer.

As I was ill they did not get me to breastfeed instead they expressed by hand and syringed to the baby. I think this then is what caused problems with breastfeeding as I didn't get to do that first feed in the "golden hour" I was told so much about.

My husband went home that night so I was on my own and they moved me to the proper ward with all the other new mums. That night a student midwife helped me to get up for the first time. I felt like Bambi!! Also when I got up I felt my tummy for the first time, it was horrible, it felt like and empty sack of spuds and was all heavy and saggy. This went away after that first time but the midwife found my reaction quite funny.

Then I was sort of left to my own devices, I struggled still to move that night so struggled to pick up the baby when she cried, I tried feeding her myself but as I had no help I couldn't get it to work so I ended up giving her formula that night.

Looking back now I am a bit disappointed at the lack of support, she is my first baby. I had never changed a nappy, dressed or fed a baby but no-one really bothered to help me. I know all I had to do was ask but when I did ring the bell for help it would take at least half an hour for someone to come by which time I had had to work it out for myself and deal with it. It is true that instincts take over. I do understand that the staff are pushed and can't help everyone but when I was there I felt very alone.

The next morning I was signed off as ok to go home but I was told by the midwife I couldn't go until I had feed her. So that was my goal of the day. Various people came to try and help most of whom grabbed my boob and her head and shoved them together. I was stripping the baby down to her nappy, getting my boobs out to the world and not getting anywhere she just wouldn't latch or when she appeared to have latched didn't actually suck.

This went on all day with people all suggesting different things. In the end I pushed to be let home I couldn't cope with being in the hospital another night on my own.

The midwife tried to get me to stay but reluctantly she let me go after giving me a load of drugs including injections I had to do myself at home.

When I did get home I tried feeding again but she was crying with hunger so we gave her a bottle (I had got bottle feeding equipment ready just encase) and she gulped it down. After speaking to my local midwife the following day the things done in the hospital were not helpful and I could have gone to my local birthing centre for someone to help me (they are quiet compared to a hospital) but I have stuck with the bottle. I feel bad a bit but happy she is getting fed.

The worst part of my recovery was having stiches, I was in a lot of pain and couldn't sit properly. Then the iron tablets I was on made me really ill. Also the injections gave me a really bad rash. All in all I felt horrible for a good week and a half after birth, it sort of ruined the experience a bit but now I am better.

My stitches have healed and I got my prescription changed to iron liquid which doesn't make me ill. I actually feel quite good now and am even getting sleep at night which is helping greatly.

Although I have had a bit of a traumatic time I would not change it I have a beautiful baby and I would do it again (I would have said something different a couple of weeks ago) but it is true that you forget the pain and the bad things quite quickly. Our brains must block out the memories!! If birth was that bad people wouldn't go on to have more children and now I really think I want another - not anytime soon though!!!!

I wanted this to be an honest account and I know that it is very somber and depressing but it is what happened. At the time I didn't feel as bad about the experience as just got on with it. Only now looking back do I realise the difficulties I had but we got through it and have a really healthy baby girl.

Em x